So you’ve been diagnosed, or a loved one has been diagnosed, or you have a loved one showing signs of a metal illness, what do you do next? who do you turn to? This was the dilemma I was faced with.
After having spent two days in France trying to find my mum & eventually locating her in the most disturbing mental health unit I have ever seen (that is all in the book I am writing) I was faced with getting her back to the home soil & getting help asap. It was very evident that my mum was severely psychotic & was in urgent need of medical attention. I finally arrived in Sussex & after getting home, the first thing I did was to get a appointment at the doctors. I had no idea how this was going to go. My mum is a very intelligent lady & coupled with the fact she was a Psychiatric Nurse for many years (ironically) she knew just how to play the joker card, even though she was very ill, she was also terrified & every instinct in her body kicked in! She was on survival mode without a doubt, there wasn’t one person she trusted, not even me. I decided it would be wise to phone ahead & talk to the doctor to explain that I had br?ought my mum back from France where she had been missing for days & was showing signs of extreme psychosis, that she had tried to attempt suicide & was a danger to herself. Now, considering I made that phone call, that I had told him all about the events in France, the suicide attempt, the fact she thought there were people after her, trying to kill her & that her behaviour had got more & more bizarre over a relatively short time, you would expect some kind of real concern, something quite major to happen, like men in white coats coming to take her into hospital to get her treated, wouldn’t you? None of that happened, what happened was, my mum went in to the doctor’s office, the doctor that I had personally spoken to on the phone not two hours earlier, sat there, listened to my mum feed him a load of shit about everyone else being the mad ones, she was perfectly fine & her daughter (me) was just very dramatic & should have gone to drama school, & took the bait. I remember sitting there thinking that she did an incredibly good job of being quite sane but it wasn’t going to trick the doctor because I had told him everything & he’s a doctor, so he’ll, know what to do. He nodded, scribbled on his pad, looked at his watch & then said that he was writing me a prescription for four diazepam to help over the holiday’s (it was Easter) & said to make an appointment to come back after the bank holiday.
If I was to say that I could have stood up & punched that doctor into next week that would be an under statement. I was so angry, I couldn’t control my tears. I asked him what I was going to do if she tried to hurt herself & with his long stupid face, with eyes too close together, he smirked & said I should call an ambulance. Fecking idiot!! I’m not one to be so childish & uncivil but it was obvious he couldn’t give two shits about the fact I was telling him it was very likely my mum would try & harm herself again & it was obvious that he was thinking about nothing but his three days off, a glass of wine & the Easter egg hunt he had planned with his adorable little cherubs! Okay, I’m being pathetic about the wine & the kids, I mean who doesn’t want to do that? but he was a weasel face nevertheless.
So what do you do? Who do you actually call when something happens & you feel you need help? In my case I have to say that I think I was unlucky, I got a bad doctor or I got a doctor having a bad day, either way I didn’t get the help, in fact it ended up that I actually had to call the police on my own mum & then the men in white coats actually did come. Although that was a real bad experience & I wasn’t initially helped by the doctor, I did get help later on, not nearly enough but it was help of a sort. The protocol as it were, is this: firstly, make the call, when you make a call to one of the numbers below you will be advised what to next. From speaking with someone on one of the numbers you can then get a plan together and get people on board to help. I wish I had had this knowledge when I had been desperate! Secondly, you need to tell people, don’t keep it a secret, even if you think the ill person will be mad at you, it doesn’t matter!, what matters is to get help, to get family & friends on board & helping out with school runs, shopping, meals, whatever you need!! ask!! Do not be ashamed or embarrassed like so many people are, you cant do this alone & its perfectly acceptable to tell people you need them to back you up. I did it alone for far too long. I had my husband to support me at home but that was always after work, during the day I was trying to stop my mum from escaping from my house all whilst juggling mum duties & acting like nothing was wrong to my four year old.
The main point I am trying to make is that you HAVE to ask for help. please, pleeeeease don’t suffer in silence. Let anyone who will listen help you, you’re going to need that network of support. If there is one thing I would change (& hell, there is a lot!) its that I would tell people how badly I was struggling & I would ask for help.
Crisis text line Service (free & immediate support)
Text Line 24/7 crisis support text THEMIX 85258 if in a crisis
The crisis line helps with urgent issues such as:
*Suicidal thoughts
*Abuse of assault
*self-harm
*Bullying
*Relationship breakdown
NHS Helpline 111
Deaf or hard of hearing textphone 0845 606 4647
or call through BT Talktype on 1 8001 0845 46 47
tell the operator your postal code & they will direct you to your local NHS support group
Freda xx
#mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthhelp
Mental health (poorly brain) 