I never know what I will be faced with from one day to another. One day I could open the door to find a very anxious, frightened, shaky pale looking mum, the next I could find her attempting a genuine smile with lippy applied. One of the most difficult things about this illness is it doesn’t just have one face.
It took me years & many tears to finally accept the fact that the mum I once knew had changed. She hadn’t gone, not completely, but she was very different. Once upon a time there was this vibrant, bold, seemingly confident & colourful woman who held fancy dress parties like no other. She has always been a highly intelligent woman with a passion for antiques, art, history & she loved learning. My mum made a living from her knowledge of antiques & became well known for it, she was a real character, very popular & once met never forgotten. Then one day, everything changed & this woman was taken by mental illness. Every aspect of my mum was different, it was like she had literally been possessed. The life of this beautiful, giving, selfless woman had been taken & was being destroyed & destroying all those around her.
This was almost 11 years ago. Today, after many hospital stays & several suicide attempts, she is at a point where she is not trying to harm herself but she is just existing. My mum doesn’t enjoy life, she finds the world overwhelming & frightening, everyday struggling to just step outside the door. Anxiety is present every single day without fail, all trust has gone, all independence has been snatched away. She was the strongest woman I have ever met & I have looked up to her my whole life. My mum is the last person on this planet I would have thought would be taken by mental illness but she was. She still is the strongest woman I have met & I still look up to her whole heartedly because everyday for her is hell but she stays here for us, her family & for that, I will be forever grateful. ❤️
#mentalhealth #caregiver #suicideprevention #support
Mental health (poorly brain) 